Tough
by littledaybreaker
Summary: Told from both Lilly and Scotty's POV. After the events of The Woods, Lilly reflects and Scotty comes to her rescue. Sort of LillyScotty, but not quite as shippy as some things I've written. I'm trying to be good!


Tough. That's what everybody thinks I am. They don't know how far off the mark they are. I'm weak, scared, and really, really tired. And did I mention lonely? I'm still human; I want to love and be loved just like anyone else. I don't think the four basic rules I give people (my work is my life and you can't change that, there is absolutely nothing wrong with my cats, don't even suggest it, I had a bad childhood but I'm not ready to share every detail with you or anyone else and yes, it is necessary for me to look after both my mother and my sister) are that difficult to understand, so why has every break-up I've ever been through been over my work or my social backwardness (I think normal people are supposed to want to share details instead of going further and further back into themselves) or my family?

Scotty might understand me—I could tell him about when I was little without him trying to use it against me as proof that everything he thought I was is really just a big lie, but I _can't _have Scotty, not in the way I want to, I can't hold his heart the way he holds mine because he's still untouchable, still shadowed by Elisa and Christina, still scarred from abandonment…come to think of it now, I'm nothing like George and everything like Scotty, and I didn't even realize it. I could talk to him and know that he understands, know that he won't leave me as long as I don't leave him, and I could sleep at night without waking up kicking and yelling and totally alone.

(Scotty's POV)

The boss doesn't want me to go see Lil. He thinks that she wants to be alone for a long time, but I've seen that look, that "_I'm really a very scared little girl_" look, and I know what happens when you leave the scared little girl alone. The boss keeps telling me that he doesn't think that she'll have a positive reaction to company (and that's his words), that she'll be even less social than normal, but I know that all she really needs is company. Even if she doesn't feel like talking or laughing, she'll appreciate having someone there who isn't just going to leave. I'm gonna go see her anyway. Just to protect her.

She lets me in her house without saying anything. At least she's not looking at her hands like she wants to cut them off, like that Macbeth lady. That scared me. I wanted to hold them down in her lap, but I knew the boss would have something to say to me if I touched her.

"Hi." Her voice is shaking, heavy with tears and something else.

"I wanted to…"

"Come in."

Her orange cat, the one with one eye, is looking at me funny, like "What the hell are you doing here? Aren't you the one that Lilly pretends she doesn't like?"

"Hey, Lil, what's your cat's name?"

"Olivia," she answers, slightly brighter than before.

"He's cute."

"She. And thanks." She scoops up the cat. "Sit down?" she asks me. I shrug and sit on the couch. She sits down next to me, holding the cat. "Why are you here?" she asks, just above a whisper. "Why?"

"I wanted to…I wanted to make sure you were okay. You looked pretty worse for the wear at work."

She sighed. "Oh."

"Are you okay?" loaded question, but I don't know what else to say.

What she does next I never would have guessed she'd do in a million years. She crumbled. Cried. "H…he…he hurt me," she sobs.

"Who? Who hurt you?"

"George! And…a long time ago…and my dad…and…Kite…everybody! Christina!" she yells. The cat jumps down from her lap.

"Oh Lilly." I don't know what else to tell her. I want to hold her. I reach my hand out, testing, put it on her shoulder. "Y…you can tell me."

She takes three deep breaths, bites her lip. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." I don't know what to prepare myself for, but I inch closer to her until she moves comfortably next to me, close enough that I can reach and hold her if I need to.

"My dad left when I was six," she said, wiping tears from her eyes, sniffling. "And…he kept promising me that he'd be back again someday to get me. He did the right thing, for himself. He got out of that hellhole. But he left…he left…he left his baby." She's crying all over again. "I loved him. Still love him. But he's so damn stupid. Stupid! He left her because he knew she was nothing but trouble, yet he left a little tiny girl to suffer for him. And what was I supposed to do but believe him that he'd be back? I still think he'll be back to rescue me…make up for thirty-one years of not being here. Isn't that sick?"

I shudder. "I'm sorry, Lilly."

She takes a minute to stop sobbing painfully. I stroke her hair and she doesn't flinch away. Then she tells me the rest of the story.

(Lilly's POV)

I told him. He listened, just like I knew he would, and he didn't do anything but wrap me up in his arms and pet my hair. _Know he knows me, _I thought. _Now he knows…and he's not running away…what does this mean? Where does that leave us?_

"Oh…Lilly, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Lil. I didn't know, I had no idea…"

"Shhh…shhhh…just stay with me." I don't know why I said it. I was scared that he would just leave me because he was afraid.

"Never…never going to leave. I swear it to you. I…"

"You what?" my head hurts and my eyes feel heavy and sticky. I've got the hiccups from crying and coughing and I can't be very attractive right now, but he's holding my curiosity.

"I love you."

Am I hearing him right? Did he just tell me he loved me? "Don't say that…please."

He pulls me closer to him and I let him. Where's my strength now, huh? I just want to sleep, right here on his chest, for a hundred years. Maybe a few more. I close my eyes and lean against his chest, feeling his warmth and breathing his spicy scent. "No," he says. "I mean it. I have since…I don't know how long. I just let myself think it was lust. I'm not going to let you go."

"Mmm…" I'm too tired to argue with him right now. "Can I sleep?" I'm not actually giving him an option. I'm going to fall asleep on my couch with my head resting on his chest whether he wants me to or not.

"Let's get you to bed," he suggests. "It's more comfortable."

"I don't want you to leave…" I'm so tired. If I go to bed, he'll leave me.

"I'm not going to." He gently takes my hand and leads me to my room. He's serious. He won't leave me. I'm perfectly safe. I sigh, happier than I've been in months…maybe even years. I'm going to sleep soundly, peacefully, without nightmares. The little girl who was trapped for so long has been freed, and a man named Scotty Valens was the one who freed her.

**A/N: It wouldn't leave me alone! I think a combination of listening to a lot of music from the sadder episodes (Somewhere Over The Rainbow/What A Wonderful World and Sunshine On My Shoulders…who knew they'd bring out the depressive in me?) and watching The Woods a lot on tape made me fairly strange. Then on Sunday I saw the episode (whose name has slipped my mind. Duh.) in which Scotty finds out about Elisa and I realized that if Lilly told him about her demons, he'd understand, and this is what happened. I tried not to be too fluffy but I think I failed miserably at being an anti-fluff. **


End file.
